Every time I fight with my mother, I end up feeling drained and disappointed, both with her and with myself.
I used to self-harm. Not because I wanted to die, not because I wanted attention. I did it because physical pain is so much easier to deal with than emotional pain. I had no idea how I’d make the ache I felt inside myself go away, but I knew how to bandage myself up when I hurt physically. And it took my mind off things, because the pain from cutting was sharp and made me focus.
I’ve not done it in years, but from time to time I feel the need to do it, and I get scared because I know that I can do this. I know I can get over these feelings of just wanting the pain to go away. But today is one of those days where I look at my skin and wonder if I have something I can use.
But I promised myself, and the person I was dating once upon a time, that if I ever felt this way again, that I’d tell someone and try to find help instead of giving in.
So this is me telling someone.
Please help me get over this feeling I have today.
